Day 233- “Remembrance”

Today’s post is dedicated to the victims in Aurora, Colorado. For those of you who weren’t aware, at midnight between July 19th and 20th, a gunman went into a theater and opened fire, killing 12 people and injuring over 50 others.

I was woken by my mom on the 20th (the day we headed up to South Dakota), and she told me the news. Immediately I began scanning through my mental list of friends in Aurora, Denver, and the surrounding areas. I thought about who was  from there, but in Greeley, or on vacation, etc.  I was terrified to text or call them. What if they never answered? We had barely left our house when my phone buzzed a text message to me. It was Ben, my Little Brother in Kappa. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t at the theater” it read. Relief flooded through me.

Last night I was driving, and for some reason the stray thought popped into my head: What if it was Ben? Then I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What if I lost my Little? What would I do? It made the drive a bit more unpleasant, but some thoughts so not want to get out of my head.

Today, Rose and I ran into each other at the University Center on campus. We sat down together, her eating her Subway, and me drinking my milkshake. We talked like friends do, talked about her mustard and upcoming move, and about my work and coworkers and such. Then she said “I was supposed to be at the theater in Aurora, you know. I didn’t feel like driving down there from Greeley, so I told my friends I wasn’t going and to giver my tickets to another friend.” I responded with something like “You were? Really?” And she said very calmly, “Yeah. I was supposed to be in theater 9, the 12:05 showing.”

The showing that was attacked.

I can’t begin to describe how I feel about this horrible, horrible event, even though I’ll try.

I feel sickened by the needless violence.

I am disgusted by people on both sides of the gun control debate arguing about it.

I am angry by people politicizing it.

I am saddened for the lives lost.

I am sympathetic to the family and friends of those lost.

I am relieved. Relieved that Ben wasn’t there. Relieved that Rose chose not to go. Relieved that the shooting was not in Greeley, where Adam and Drew were watching the midnight premiere. Relieved that it was not in Fort Collins, where a lot of my high school friends would be in danger.

I am hopeful. I am hopeful that someday, this will not happen, that we will not hurt and kill each other for whatever reason we have thought of to justify what we are doing.

I am hopeful for the future.

This photo is courtesy of the 9NEWS (KUSA) Facebook page.

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